


Not made for fighting.

by Kiddidd



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Cotton Candy Garnet, F/F, Fluff, Gem War, Pearl-centric (Steven Universe), Pre-Canon, Renegade Pearl, Spoilers for Episode: s05e18 A Single Pale Rose, i know it's been up a while but just in case, it wrecked me in the best ways, polygems - Freeform, polypearls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2018-09-19 03:56:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9417452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiddidd/pseuds/Kiddidd
Summary: A bunch of one shots focusing on Pearl during the war.





	1. Proving them wrong(Pearlrose)

“Rose, please this is stupid.” Bismuth picked up her pace to keep up with her leader. Pearl was walking next to Rose, with her head down and a scowl on her face. She felt bad talking about Pearl like she wasn’t there but this was reckless. “She’s about a big as your sword, how is she going to fight?” Rose just smiled as she put her hand on Pearl’s shoulder. 

“You’ve all had a chance to be more than you were made for. Why can’t she?” 

“That’s not the same! I mean she already proved herself! That she can do more than stand around and look pretty but this… she can get shattered!” 

“So can I. So can you and every other gem here. She knows that, we all do but we still fight. You’re underestimating her.” 

Bismuth pinched the bridge of her nose and sighted. Rose smiled as she stopped, hand still on Pearl’s shoulder. “All I’m asking you to do is make two swords her size. Do that and I’ll prove to you that she can handle herself on at battlefield just as well as you can.” 

Bismuth sighed and nodded. “Yes Rose.” Rose smiled as she gently pushed Pearl forward and started walking again. “Thank you.” Bismuth turned and left, muttering something under her breath. Pearl kept her head down as they walk through the base. Rose saw the glances some of the other gems gave Pearl and gently pushed her forward, making her walk faster. 

The rebellion was in its early stage and she knew that many gems were still struggling to rid themselves of Homeworld’s views. It wasn’t until they were alone that Pearl lifted her head. “When are they going to stop?” Rose smiled and kissed her, making her face go a bright blue. “Soon Pearl. Soon you’ll be able to show them you’re every bit as good as they are.” Pearl gave her a watery smile and nodded. 

__________________ 

Bismuth was surprised when Pearl thanked her as she took the twin swords, knowing her as a quiet gem. She turned to Rose as Pearl examined the swords. “Right, now how do you plan on proving that she can handle herself?” Rose grinned at her. “Simple, by letting her spar with you.” 

“You want me to what?!”

Pearl kept her focus on the swords and tested their weight. Rose just kept smiling. “There you go underestimating her again.” A small circle of gems had gathered around them by then. “You scared, Bis?” One chuckled in the back and she sighed knowing that she was not going to get out of the fight. “Fine, but I’m not responsible when anything goes wrong.”

Rose laughed. “It’s a simple sparing match.” She turned to Pearl and whispered something in her ear. Pearl nodded before she turned to Bismuth with her swords drawn. Rose stepped out of the circle and the others stepped back to give them more space. Bismuth drew her own sword, wondering how she was going to handle this. 

Rose started to count down from three and some gems had started to cheer. She kept her eyes on Pearl, whose focus was pinned on her. She had never seen the emotion that was in Pearl’s eyes before, but before she had time to question it Rose shouted one. 

Pearl leapt forward with surprising speed, before Bismuth had any time to react. She jumped out of the way and turned at the same time Pearl did, their swords clashing against each other. Pearl’s second sword came from her left and she rolled out of the way, landing on her feet a few feet away.  
Her eyes focused of Pearl, who had a blank expression on her face. Both sprinted forward, and their weapons met with a loud ‘bang’. Bismuth tried to find a weak spot in her defense but there wasn’t, that’s when it hit her. Pearl knew what she was doing. 

Rose must have been training her. Rose was right, she had underestimated Pearl and now she wanted to see how far the lithe gem could go. She swung her sword forward pushing Pearl a few feet back but she didn’t waver. The gems around them had gone silent, their eyes glued on Pearl, who counter each of Bismuth’s strikes with ease. 

Bismuth swung her sword hard, knocking Pearl off her feet as she rolled backwards. Pearl got up before Bismuth had time to use that to her advantage and ran towards her. She raised her sword expecting Pearl to try and strike her, but she slipped between Bismuth’s legs in a single movement and kicked herself up against a rock behind them. As Bismuth turned Pearl’s kicked her in the chest, causing her to fall on her back in the dust. Pearl stood on top of her, her sword inches away from Bismuth’s face. 

Everyone was silent, the only sound being their heavy breaths. Bismuth wasn’t sure how long they stood like that before Pearl got off her and extended her hand. Bismuth took it and Pearl pulled her to her feet and they kept their eyes on each other. 

Pearl gave a small smile as Bismuth grinned at her, before she grabbed her by the shoulders and hoisted her up. “Did you see that?!” She felt Pearl go tense in her grip and put her down. “Looks like I found a sparring partner!” Pearl smiled at her. “That is if you want?” Pearl nodded before she spoke. “I could teach you a better stance.” 

Bismuth laughed before she patted Pearl on the back. “This gem!” She joked as the others came closer. They swarmed Pearl with questions on where she learned to fight, how she was able to knock down a gem five times her size, when was she going to spar with the rest of them? 

As the rest kept babbling Pearl turned to Rose, who still stood at the place she stood before the match started. She had her arms crossed over her chest and a grin on her face. She nodded at Pearl who smiled before turning back to the others, Rose’s earlier word still rung in her head. As she was happy that she got it right. 

_Prove them all wrong._


	2. Listening (Bispearl)

“What are you doing!?” Pearl shouted as Bismuth pushed her back against the cave wall. Bismuth clamped her hand over Pearl’s mouth as she leaned against the wall herself. Pearl tried to get the hand on her mouth but stopped when she heard the sound on boots trotting over the rubble.

“They’re not here!” She heard a Homeworld soldier shout. “Push deeper!” They stood still against the wall as a group of Quartz soldiers rushed past the mouth cave, not seeing them thanks to the thick vines covering the entrance. Bismuth sighed and took her hand away from Pearl’s mouth. “That was close.” 

Pearl nodded as she headed for the exit. Bismuth grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “Wait, where are you going?” 

Pearl yanked her arm out of Bismuth’s grip and rubbed it. They had been on better grounds after the sparing match but Pearl still hated to be touched by anyone other than Rose. “I have to get back to Rose.” 

“Are you cracked?! That’s on the other side of the battlefield right now. You’ll get shattered!” 

“I don’t care.” She said with a hollow tone as she pushed past Bismuth. 

“Well I do,” she said as she grabbed Pearl’s thin arm again and pulled her back. “We’re staying here until the battle is over or it’s safe to go.” 

“What, No! I told you this was a stupid idea! I’m not staying because you don’t listen!” She tried to pull her arm back but Bismuth kept a firm grip on her. 

“Hey! Who told you to come with me?” 

“Rose…” 

“This was a stupid idea you’re right but it would be even worse it you just run out alone behind enemy lines!” Bismuth hadn’t even notice that she tightened her grip.

“Bismuth let go.” Pearl said in a low growl. 

“No way! You can’t be trusted on your own right now.” Pearl’s eyes when wide and Bismuth knew that was the wrong choice of words, but before she could try and take her words back Pearl’s voice echoed through the cave. 

“Let go!” Just then there was a sound outside of the cave and they started to hear faint voices. Pearl’s free hand reached for her gem to pull out a sword, but before she could Bismuth pushed her arms down and picked her up, pinning her arms to her body. “Put me down!” 

Bismuth ignored her as she ran deeper into the cave. Pearl kept thrashing in her grip and telling Bismuth to put her down, after a while Bismuth blocked out her voice. She wasn’t sure how long she ran before she stopped, still holding Pearl up.

“Put me down.” That sounded like a sob, and Bismuth instantly held Pearl in front of her to get a clear look of her face, her gem glowed faintly to help her see. Pearl had her eyes screwed shut and a single tear ran down her face. Bismuth stared at her wide eyed, she had known Pearl for about 3000 years now and she had never seen her cry before. “Hey, um okay. I’m going to put you down but you can’t run and you need to calm down a little.” She spoke gently hoping to calm Pearl down but it didn’t work. 

“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” 

“Stop what? And hey don’t shout we’re in enough trouble.” 

“Stop telling me what to do!” Pearl started to sob at that point. 

_Oh_

Bismuth thought back to the mission they just failed, no she just failed. Rose had sent them to spy on the Homeworld troops. Pearl had spoken against it but accepted the task from Rose. They were doing pretty good when Pearl said that they should circle around the base, but Bismuth didn’t listen and pushed through which got them into that mess. When she thought about it all she did was boss Pearl around the whole time. 

Pearl had started to shake in her hands and she lowered her head. “I’m sorry. You were right I should have just listened to you from the start.” Pearl just kept sobbing. “Hey, please don’t cry.” 

“Why? I … already… know… how this… will end.” She gasped between sobs. “She’s… even more… useless than we… thought!” Pearl said imitating Bismuth’s voice. “N-no… wonder they wanted… to shatter her!” Bismuth’s heart sank. For as long as she’s known Rose, Pearl had always been there. Nobody ever wondered where she got her or if she even was Rose’s, mainly because Rose always said she was her own gem. 

Pearl snobs turn to sniffs. “Anybody loose a defect…” She whispered. Bismuth felt her own tears run down her face as she pulled Pearl into a hug. Pearl tensed but relaxed a little before she started to cry again. Bismuth cried with her and rubbed Pearl’s back. After a while both of them stopped and Bismuth settled Pearl on her feet before she sat down. Pearl sat in front of her, her eyes focused on her hands in her lap. 

“I won’t tell.” Bismuth said and Pearl looked up slightly. “I won’t tell them and hey from now on if anybody makes fun of you or something you tell me. I’ll take care of it for you.” She smiled and Pearl gave a small nod before she looked down again. “And I know who you belong to.” 

At that Pearl’s head snapped up. “And you’re gonna say it with me, please.” Pearl just stared at her wide eyed. “N.” Pearl stayed quiet. “Please, come on N” 

“N-n.” 

“O.” 

“O.” 

“B.” 

“B.” 

“O, again.” 

“O.” 

“D.” 

“D.” 

“Y.” 

“Y.” 

Bismuth smiled. “Who do you belong to?” 

Pearl looked down again as if thinking for a moment before she lifted her head again. “N-nobody.”  
Bismuth gently placed her hand on the pale gem’s shoulder and Pearl smiled a little before repeating the word. “Nobody.”


	3. Why we fight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl reflects on why she's fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to write a short story for school and this popped up. Sorry it's short!

Pearl sat on the hill above the beach and watched as a group of children played in the sand. The summer breeze ruffled her short hair and she let out a small sigh. Moments like these were rare for her, between being on the battle field and recovering from it afterwards. 

_‘You’re too reckless!’_

Rose had told her many times before. It was true, she knew she was but that didn’t stop her from taking a blow that was meant for Rose over and over again. She did it because she could, because she wanted to, because she was free to do it. 

War was hell but she was free to fight it as well. She knew that’s she could die, so did Rose and anyone else that were risking their lives on the battlefield every day. 

_But what’s the point of being alive if you’re not free?_

She would never go back, she promised herself that. Her years as a servant were over and she would rather be shattered before she would be commanded like that ever again. She knew the gems she was fighting with felt the same. Builders, soldiers, technicians all fought for the same thing. The freedom to be who they really were. Pearl watched as one of the children stumbled and two other ran to his aid. 

_‘It’s in your hands to create a better world for all who live in it.’_

Rose had told them that before their first battle, Pearl didn’t understand it then. But as she watched the boy’s friends help him to his feet before they ran off laughing, she did. 

She wasn’t just fighting for her own freedom, or Rose’s, or any all her comrades. She was fighting for that boy, for his friends, for every person in the small town on the horizon, she was fighting for all of them. Their futures were in her hands. The idea was scary but also encouraging. A small smile tugged her lips as she picked up her sword and stood. Her smile grew as she watched the sun set over the ocean. 

“I won’t let you down.” She said as she turned and walked back to the base.


	4. Other's tears (Pearlnet)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose isn't the only one who cries when Pearl gets hurt.

Rose isn’t the only one who cries when Pearl gets hurt. Pearl would be surprised if she knew just how many gems felt the colour drain from their faces when they see her gem hit the ground. 

Of course, Rose’s tears are useful. Nobody else can cry the renegade back to life, no matter how hard they try. That didn’t mean that they didn’t cry over her though. She didn’t know this of course. Most didn’t want her too because they didn’t want to been see as less tough. Some would just give her a pat on the back to show that they’re happy she’s back. Bismuth sobbed openly, wrapping her arms around Pearl and hugging her close. 

Garnet herself was hard to explain. 

The first time she saw Pearl regenerate she was still new and the renegade was still just a possible ally, but as time went on she discovered that it happened too often for her not to worry about it. 

The first time she cried she herself had to regenerate. The last thing she saw was Pearl’s gem being dropped in front of Rose as she jumped between her and another soldier, a large crack down the middle. 

Ruby reformed first. Rose had kept her and Sapphire’s gems together. She gently picked up the blue gem, clutching it to her chest, before she ran off to find Rose. She didn’t have to go far before she practically ran into her.

“Rose!” 

“Ruby? What’s wrong? Is it Sapphire’s gem, it didn’t look damaged when I-”

“Where’s Pearl?” Ruby cut her off tears already collecting in the corners of her eyes.

“Oh.” Rose smiled as she held out the Pearl’s gem, that she had been holding onto the whole time. 

Ruby let out a sigh of relief when she saw that the crack was gone. A bright light suddenly came for Sapphire’s gem and Ruby let it float up before she caught Sapphire on her way down, hugging her tightly. Sapphire gave one of her rare laughs that only Ruby could get out of her before she hugged the red gem back. Rose smiled at the scene before she looked down at the gem in her hands. 

“Could you hold her, please?” Rose asked as she handed the white gem to the newly formed Garnet. “I have to go plan a new strategy and I’d like to know she’s safe.” 

Garnet nodded as she took the gem and held it to her chest, the same way Ruby had held Sapphire, but she didn’t think of that as she walked through the camp to a quiet place. 

Her feet carried her to a cliff above the beach. Pearl and Rose had taken her there to show her, her first sunset as Garnet. She sat down with her legs dangling off. The sun had started to set before the gem next to her started to glow. Garnet stood, ready to catch Pearl if she reformed too close to the edge, but the lithe gem landed on her feet at a safe distance. Before Pearl could even open her eyes, Garnet had her arms around her. Pearl tensed but then calmed down when she felt Garnet’s gems press against her back. 

“Garnet, are you-” Pearl stopped before her voice got panicked. “Rose? Is-” 

“She’s fine. She’s planning a new strategy.” 

Pearl let out a sigh of relief before she relaxed in Garnet’s arms.

“Garnet?” Pearl asked as Garnet didn’t let go and she felt something wet drip on her back. “Garnet, are you okay?” 

Garnet nodded as she tightened her hold. Pearl hugged her back before she squirmed out of Garnet’s hold and whipped the taller gem’s tears away. 

“I’m fine.” Pearl gave her a small smile before she looked over her back. “Would you like to watch the sunset?” 

Garnet nodded and Pearl took her hand before she sat down at the edge, Garnet doing the same. 

“I’m fine.” Pearl repeated with a smile and Garnet turned to her. “But thank you for caring.” 

“You’re welcome.” Garnet smiled as they turned their attention to the sun descending over the ocean. Her tears weren’t useful like Rose’s but that didn’t mean that they meant any less.


	5. Loyal to her core

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl wonders over a few thoughts that have come to light due to recent actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's not dead, also who else feels emotionally wrecked after those two episodes?

The first time she did it she hadn’t even realized what had been going on. She reformed in the forge, Bismuth and Garnet both there with her. Bismuth gripping her arms, asking if she was insane. Garnet trying to stay calm as she asked a question that Pearl couldn’t answer. 

“Why would you do that?” 

They stayed in the forge until Bismuth decided that enough time had passed. After they had warped back to the base, Pearl barely had time to step off before she was bombarded with the same two questions by the other Crystal gems that saw what had happened. The memory in Pearl’s head wasn’t nearly as dramatic as the story that everyone was telling. 

They had been fighting against the new batch of Jaspers that had recently emerged from the Beta kindergarten. Pearl knew, she had been there when Ro- Pink Diamond had chosen the location. It had been nowhere near as stable as the Prime kindergarten. Pearl was surprised that the few gems that came from the site were able to grow there in the first place. They were off coloured, yes. Wrong in the eyes of any self-respecting kindergartener but considering where they came from good enough. Deep down she wondered if Pink Diamond chose the site on purpose, to ensure that her Diamond army wouldn’t be able to succeed over her rebel one. 

She couldn’t tell the others this. She didn’t even have the courage to ask Rose about it. 

There had been one exception in this batch, though. She is the most perfect Jasper Pearl has ever seen. Tall, strong, utterly devoted to her Diamond… war ready. For a while Pink Diamond had talked about including this Jasper in her plans, letting her fight for the rebel side but ultimately decided against it. Most likely out of the fear that it would be suspicious to the other Diamonds. 

Pearl had been fine with this, until that single perfect Jasper ended up being the one that had fought her way to Rose. She had turned out to be the perfect fighter, with her helmet out, she had been ready to take Rose Quartz down in the name of her Diamond. 

She didn’t, though. Pearl took the hit, giving Rose more time to act. With a single well placed swung of her sword. Jasper’s gem landed in the dust, right next to Pearl’s. 

Pearl stated that it had been a heat of the moment thing and that it wouldn’t happen again. Later she told Rose the same. For a moment she even believed it. 

She didn’t stop. She became Rose’s second shield, never leaving her side and always taking the hit for her. When asked why she couldn’t answer. She didn’t know, she just felt like it was the right thing to do. She didn’t expect to find the answer where she did.   
______________________________________________

 

“Isn’t it terrifying to be so close to the battle?” The question came from Yellow Diamond’s Pearl. 

“I’ve only been there a few times and I was completely petrified.” Blue Diamond’s Pearl added. The three of them stood waiting as the Diamonds spoke in the room above them. The question caught Pearl off guard before she quickly scrambled for an answer. 

“S-somewhat, yes. But that’s why Pink Diamond has her soldiers.” 

“That didn’t stop Rose Quartz for getting close to Blue Diamond.” The blue skinned Pearl said as she turned to look at Pearl. 

“At least she… didn’t get close enough to do any real damage.” Pearl said, trying to shift the focus of the conversation a little. 

“True.” Yellow Pearl nodded. “But I doubt that Rose Quartz could do any real damage at all. Can you imagine Quartz doing something like shattering a Diamond? That’s impossible; their gems are too powerful and perfect.” 

That single statement was like a blow to the head. The gem. Her gem. Pearl barely has any time to let her realization sink in before Blue and Yellow Diamond made their way down the stairs of the moon base. Without saying anything their Pearls followed them and Pearl was left alone with her thoughts. 

She waited in silence for Pink’s return but after a while she made her way up the stairs. She found Pink Diamond staring at the orb in the middle of the room, a look of defeat on her face. She caught sight of Pearl as the smaller gem made her way closer. 

“Let’s go, Pearl.” Pearl obeyed and followed Pink Diamond to her ship, not a single word spoken between them.

__________________________________________ 

 

Now that she finally had an answer to her actions she prided herself on them. Rose never obtained a single blow, Pearl endangered her life to ensure it. It became a habit and as time went on her fellow rebels left her alone over it. All but Rose who asked her, countless times, to stop endangering herself. 

Pearl thought back to the first time that it had happened. The question that Garnet had asked. 

_“Why would you do that?”_

“Because if I don’t, who will? Can you imagine what would happen if the Diamonds get her gem?” 

“She’s a quartz, Pearl.” Bismuth said as she sharpened a sword. Garnet leaning against the wall behind her, not saying a word. “She was made to fight.” 

Pearl sighed and nodded, not in the mood to argue or being able to tell them would happen if Rose Quartz retreated to her gem only to have Pink Diamond’s gem hit the ground. Pearl tried not to think about what would happen should this event occurred. Would the other Diamonds find out? What would Pink’s army do? What would Rose’s army do. 

Pearl lifted her head, her eyes landing on Garnet and Bismuth. What would her friends do? 

The last question left an awful feeling that rooted itself deep into Pearl’s gem and she made her way to the exit. But before she had the chance to escape, Garnet put a gentle hand on her shoulder. The taller gem didn’t say anything but Pearl stopped for a moment and took an unneeded breath, focusing on Garnet’s silent comfort before she made her way outside. Questions still burning in her head. 

She reformed five times over the next few days.


End file.
